“I LOVE MAGGIE”
“IN WHICH ANNIE AND ED LEARN THE TRUTH”
1. INT. ROOM IN MAGGIE’S CASTLE IN FRANCE – DAY
MAGGIE, a 40 year old ex-queen, is standing in the middle of the room. It is furnished well, but almost shabbily. This is reflected in MAGGIE’s gown, which is of fine fabric but has seen better days. There is a window in one wall through which we can see a glimpse of the garden.
RICKY comes in and Maggie goes to him, fluttering slightly. He sweeps her up into an embrace and they kiss.
Every minute you are away from me, my lurve, is like an eternity.
Then we should stop wasting time! I’ve got an hour or so to kill…
But we cannot zink about lurve all ze time, Ricky!
Oh, I don’t know…
Zere are ze children to zink about! We ‘ave told zem zat zey are to be married, but we ‘ave not told zem ze truz. (she turns to him) We must, Ricky! We cannot keep it ‘idden any longer!
You’re right. They’re going to have to learn sooner or later that they’re brother and sister, and that the wedding we have planned for them is just a sham. But we’ll have to do it carefully.
We see that there’s someone at the window. It’s ANNIE. She has overheard and is horrified. Annie is fourteen and very pretty. She’s wearing something vaguely mediaeval (really doesn’t matter, so long as it’s long and maybe has some lacing on the bodice. A conical hat would be good as well, so she can hang onto it as she runs.)
My Annie is a little highly strung.
Through the window, we see Annie running away.
‘Ave you met Edouard? You don’t know what ‘ighly strung is!
(turning to the window)
Did you hear something?
(takes hold of his arm and pulls him towards her)
Nozing, my lurve! Probably just a cat. Now, you were saying you ‘ad an ‘our to kill?
2. EXT. GARDEN OF MAGGIE’S CASTLE – DAY
ED is sitting by a pond throwing stones into the water. He looks up when he hears ANNIE running towards him shouting.
He stands up. She runs over and stops, breathless.
Your mother… My father… They… they…
I know! They do it all the time. It’s disgusting!
(shaking her head)
No, I’m not talking about that. I heard something. Maybe I shouldn’t have been listening at the window. Listen, Ed, it’s important! And it’s about you, too.
They sit down.
You know that we’re going to be married? (Ed nods) Well, apparently it’s all for show! You’re not my fiance, Ed. You’re my brother!
Close up on Ed’s face. He’s kind of confused.
Does that mean you’re my sister? (off her look) Oh.
I knew something was wrong. I’ve been wondering why I found you so… annoying! I say it’s time to teach them a lesson!
3. INT. DINING ROOM MAGGIE’S CASTLE IN FRANCE – EVENING
Maggie, Ricky, Ed and Annie are having supper. The dining room is massive, and the little table is right in the middle. Lots of comic business for servants bringing food, they should make the most of the long trek through the hall. There is a whole pigs head on the table, with an apple in its mouth. They have a goblet each for quaffing and large metal plates in front of them. Annie is quite a fastidious eater, but the others just shovel food into their mouths. They eat while they talk.
Dearest Edward darling, could you pass me the salt please?
Nothing would delight me more, my precious angel! (he hands her the salt, there is a long lingering look) Oh, your eyes are beauteous tonight, my lady. To think I will have a lifetime to gaze into them while passing you the salt!
Maggie and Ricky exchange glances. They’re a bit worried about this.
I was planning to go hunting tomorrow, Ed. You want to come?
Will you be there, sweetest Annie?
No, alas! I cannot! I have much to prepare for our wedding. (she looks down and giggles) I cannot wait to be your wife, Ed! I have had a nightgown made for our wedding night. You should see it, it’s got lace and you can see right through…
I ‘ope you bring home a deer, dear. Zat would make a nice change to zis slop I’ve been forced to eat in my years of poverty and neglect.
Which you shall never suffer again, my darling! I shall take care of you from now on. And you shall have venison every night, if you wish.
Annie and Ed exchange glances. Annie makes a gagging gesture.
Maggie finishes eating and puts down her knife.
Time for bed, mes enfants. And don’t forget to say your prayers!
Annie and Ed get up and leave the room quietly. We follow them to the door and out into
4. INT GALLERY MAGGIE’S CASTLE – NIGHT
Ed and Annie fall against the wall laughing.
Well, Antsiepants! That should give them something to think about!
5. INT RICKY’S ROOMS IN MAGGIE’S CASTLE – MORNING
Ricky is sitting at a table reading a letter from the Duke of Clarence. He’s rather worried. Maggie comes in, goes over to him. He takes hold of her hand but keeps reading. She kisses the top of his head. He puts the letter down with a sigh.
What eez eet, my lurve?
It’s George. He keeps talking about going home.
‘Ome? To Angleterre?
Ricky pulls her down onto his knee and kisses her.
Yes. Says there’s nothing for him to do here.
Give ‘im the keys to the wine cellar. Zat should keep ‘im occupied.
You are wicked, my darling heart. But that is why I love you so much.
She stands up.
What are we going to do about the children?
I shall have a talk with Annie.
And I shall ‘ave a chat with Ed.
No! Not un chat, you silly zing! A chat. A little talk. A conversation. I shall ‘ave a talk wiz my boy.
6A. INT. ED’S ROOM IN MAGGIE’S CASTLE – DAY
Ed is lying on the bed, his hands behind his head. Maggie is sitting on the bed. They are arguing.
But mother! You don’t understand! I love her!
You are young. You do not know what lurve eez!
7A. EXT. GARDEN – DAY
Ricky and Annie are by the pond, sitting on a bench talking.
You’ll just have to be patient, my dear.
How, father! How can I be patient? Oh, he’s so dreamy!
6B. INT. ED’S ROOMS – DAY
Ed rolls up onto his side, supporting himself on his elbow.
Is she not the most beautiful girl in the world!
Well, of course, she eez very pretty. Tres jolie, as they say in France.
7B. EXT. GARDEN – DAY
Thank you, Daddy! (she throws her arms around his neck) Thank you so much for giving me such a hottie for a husband.
Close up on Ricky’s face. He’s getting very worried.
6C. INT. ED’S ROOM – DAY
Zere is more to life zan… Kissing.
But you and Ricky do that all the time! It’s gross, mother!
Zat eez different, my son. (beat) Look, I forbid you to touch ‘er! Even after you are married. Do you understand? I forbid eet!
7C. EXT. GARDEN – DAY
Annie kisses Ricky on the cheek, jumps up and runs off. Ricky sits back, shaking his head. This is getting very worrying.
8. INT GALLERY IN MAGGIE’S CASTLE IN FRANCE – EVENING
GEORGE enters. He is slightly drunk. Maggie is at the other end of the gallery, sees him and starts to move away, but he spots her.
Mags! Hey, Maggie! Don’t walk away. Come and talk to me.
She moves towards him, very reluctant to talk to him.
(puts his arm around her shoulder)
Listen, I’ve been thinking. You know, you know, you know I’m going to be king, right? Well, I’ve been thinking… (he stops, he’s forgotten what he was thinking) Anyway, does ‘t matter. You know I’m going to be king, right?
No, George! You are not going to be king. Your fazer-in-law ‘as already told me. ‘E will make my son ze king of Angleterre. Not you.
George stops. He’s confused and blinking repeatedly.
I’m not going to be king?
No. You are not going to be king!
She walks away. He’s left feeling more than a little let down.
9. INT. SMALL PARLOUR IN MAGGIES CASTLE IN FRANCE – AFTERNOON
Annie and Ed are sitting on a love seat, laughing about something. There is a door that Annie can see from where she sits. It’s open.
So, Isobel’s all “When I’m queen you’ll listen to me!” and I’m all “Oooh, your majesty…”
She breaks off as she sees Maggie walking past and grabs Ed’s hand. Maggie stops in the doorway and listens.
Oh, Ed! I can’t wait till you take me in your arms!
(picking up on the shift)
Oh, Annie, my treasure! To kiss those perfect lips.
Maggie gasps and hurries away. Ed and Annie fall about laughing.
10. INT. MAGGIE’S ROOM IN HER CASTLE IN FRANCE – AFTERNOON
Maggie is pacing the room, wringing her hands when Ricky comes in.
What are we going to do? What are we going to do?
We shall just have to tell them.
Tonight. At supper. (he takes her hand) Which is still some hours away. (they embrace) And I’ve got nothing else to do. (they kiss)
11. INT. ANNIE’S ROOM IN MAGGIE’S CASTLE IN FRANCE – EVENING
Annie is on the bed, reading. ISOBEL comes in. She’s Annie’s older sister and quite imperious. She looks around in distaste and sits in a chair. Annie tries to ignore her.
Anne! (beat) Anne!
Annie puts down her book with an exaggerated sigh and sits up.
Isobel pulls a piece of paper out of her sleeve and holds it out to Anne.
Please give this to father.
Annie hesitates, but gets up, goes to her sisters, snatches the note, goes back to the bed and picks up her book. Isobel stands up.
We’re going back to England. We’re sick of France. I just came to say goodbye.
(without looking up)
Isobel hesitates, as if she might say something, but goes to the door.
Oh, and good luck with that queen thing!
12. INT. RICKY’S ROOM IN MAGGIE’S CASTLE IN FRANCE – EVENING
Ricky is pacing. He’s very worried. He looks up as Annie comes in.
(holding out Isobel’s letter)
Isobel asked me to give you this.
He takes it and unfolds it. She leaves, he looks up, but too late.
Annie! (she’s gone, he reads the letter) Dearest Daddy, George and I are going him to England. I think it’s very unfair that you’ve decided not to make him king anymore and told your girlfriend before you told me… (he crumples the letter) Maggie! (he goes to the door) Maggie, you’ve got some ‘splainin to do!
12. INT. DINING ROOM MAGGIE’S CASTLE IN FRANCE – EVENING (AS BEFORE)
Ed and Annie are sitting next to each other, making googly eyes at each other. Ricky and Maggie exchange glances.
Edouard! (he ignores her) Edouard!
Hmnmm? (he turns around with a sigh) Yes, mother?
You too, Anne. This is important.
Annie and Ed wait patiently for him to continue.
Well, as you know, Maggie and I have known each other for quite a long time. Though we lost touch for many years…
Many long sad lonely years. Oh, ‘ow I cried for you, my lurve!
What you may not know, is that we knew each other… extremely well.
I don’t understand.
Well, it’s like this, see. When a man and a woman love each other very much, they have a special kind of cuddle…
Oh for goodness sake! When we said you were to get married, we meant you would be pretending do be married. You see, mes enfants, you can never be ‘usband and wife, because you are brozer and sister!
Annie and Ed pretend to be shocked, then burst out laughing and give each other high fives.
But I don’t understand! Je ne comprend pas!
We heard you talking and decided to teach you both a lesson!
Well, I’ve certainly learned one!
Annie gets up, goes around to hug him.
Yes, we will never keep secrets from you again.
Ed gets up and they all have a big hug.